posted by Andrew Hartley - Business Consultant & Entrepreneur on Jul 23
I went up to Michigan (Traverse City, to be exact) this past weekend to attend the wedding of a close friend with whom I have been terrible about keeping in touch since college (and even during our last two years in college, now that I think about it).
We have sporadically kept in touch since graduating from Eastern Michigan University - mostly through another mutual friend who stayed in Michigan for a few years after graduation and only recently moved back to Central Ohio. He comes down and stays once in awhile, and sometimes I’m even able to get out to our mutual friend’s place and visit with everyone - but not always.
So on Thursday night, four of us piled in my car and we drove to Traverse City, Michigan for his wedding. We barely made it. After a couple of stops and several slowdowns due to construction, we made it to the hotel at about 4:15pm on Friday - the wedding was at 5pm - and we hadn’t even changed into our wedding clothes! We made it into some seats just before our friend the groom walked down the aisle to seat his grandmother. Whew.
The location was beautiful (Frog Pond Village), as was the ceremony - non-denominational readings and poems and vow exchange… funny and light, and meaningful, somehow, all at the same time. My favorite (and least favorite - this weekend was full of conundrums, it seems) part was near the end, with a statement along the lines of “we hope that you can reconnect with old friends and kindle relationships with new friends as well…” I wasn’t recording, but it was something like that.
It was my favorite part because it worked - I feel like I reconnected with at least a few of my old friends - the couple we drove up with certainly, as well as the bride and groom (in the short amount of time we could steal from their busy wedding schedule). We also connected (I think) with a new couple that we knew, but not well - we did wine tastings and climbed Sleeping Bear Dunes on Saturday; those six of us spent all day together.
It was my least favorite part because, to me, it felt like a direct chastisement of my inability to keep in touch with people who are not in my direct vicinity. The statement “Out of sight, out of mind” is generally used to comfort people who are reminded of a bad experience by some trinket or item they own - getting rid of it can help them forget. In my case, “out of sight, out of mind” is more accurately a statement of how I correspond with people - or not. I know the newlyweds didn’t mean it that way (it would be the epitome of vanity to think they put that statement in their vows to make ME realize that I haven’t been a good friend), but it did strike a chord with me, and I’m going to use it to get back in touch with people who have been - and still are - important to me. So if you’re reading, newlyweds: I’d like to thank you for that.
And if you’re reading this, old and new friends: don’t be surprised to hear from me! And if I don’t contact you, you better contact me… 
Fair Winds,
Andrew
